How does a real entrepreneur get the time to write?

hardesttimes — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:05:42 +0000

If you’ve been through or are going through what I am going through, that must be the first question you would ask of me. I’m pretty honest. I’ll tell you how I got here. Thinks are so bad, they feel so severe, that I’m on bit of a downer. My motivation has dried up. I’ve been working for months. I’ve not had enough sleep. I’ve done no exercise. I’m in a bad place and since last night things have started to unravel. I had my monthly meeting of a society I’m a member of, and I enjoyed a social evening with acquaintances. I think I had some wine. I relaxed. A few opportunities presented themselves to take on additional responsibilities and I jumped at them because they would let me get my mind off of my work. So this morning I got in my car and drove out into a destitute township to measure up a building and draw up a floor plan. I’ve never done that before but I think I did a good job. Here it is for shits and giggles.

How does all of this fit in? It is not important and I am sure in time I will get to it. (I am treading a fine line between revealing everything about myself and remaining totally anonymous). I want anonymity to protect myself and others. This is all true though; my perspective.

So I spent a day driving my car in the mud, getting covered in paint and connecting with the community. I then went to a talk this evening and they had a bit of wine. I knocked a few glasses back. I’ve been feeling a little reckless, a little angry. So I came home and smoked a joint. I don’t often do that. Well I try not to do it too often. And after I lay down on my bed and listened to talk radio, I phoned in and spoke to one of the most influential politicians in my country. It was good to chat and I hope I made my point.

So that is where I am. I’ve hit the bottom and started to dig. Thinks are bad and I need an outlet. And this keyboard and this screen are my outlet. You either know what I’m going through, or you’ve never been here before.

It reminds me of the joke we used to tell of the private boys school up the road that there are only two types of people in this world: those that went there and those that wish they had. Do you know how they separate the men from the boys at Saints?. It is said it is done with a crowbar!

There is so much to learn as an Entrepreneur

hardesttimes — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:40:47 +0000

There is so much to learn as an Entrepreneur. This has been a tough learning curve. I’ve learnt a lot in my life. At the moment I am not sure whether that hinders me or helps me. I’m torn between taking a risk, or making a calculated decision. I am scared that my formal education has dulled me. As an Entrepreneur I am now fighting for survival and it takes so much of my energy. And I am learning so much, so many lessons, that I’ve heard before, and now they have become my own hard lessons. This experience has been really humbling. I’ve never thought about suicide so often. I know circumstances alone don’t dictate your mental health (I felt that before and Viktor Frankl gave me a language to use), but at the moment I’m hurting a lot. I think I am up for the fight though. I don’t think I would have climbed into the ring if I couldn’t take it.

In the scarce moment that I now have some time, I am choosing to quickly get down my thoughts and reach out to others. I know that I am not alone. I know there are other’s out there that have been through this. There are a lot of people that tell me they understand, but at the moment I feel really alone. The only people that I speak to, tell me they have been through it, or they don’t know what I am talking about. I can’t really see the woods from the trees, but hope a few months will bring some perspective. I invite you to enjoy my ride.

Confessions of an Entrepreneur

How does a real entrepreneur get the time to write?

There is so much to learn as an Entrepreneur